Review of My Review
So I was perusing through some of my reviews the other day and I came across this little gem:
“Great beginning but then it became so unrealistic, how sad.” One star.
Before I go any further, I’d like you to know that I’m not the type of person to whine over a review. I know that they won’t all be good. I get it. But you should also know that I’m the type of person who wants to know why. Above all else, WHY? (I can’t touch that? Why? You need to borrow some money? Why? You hate the color blue? Why? It’s a curse, I tell you.) So you have a problem with my work? Fine. I’m cool with that. Just tell me why so I can sleep at night instead of staring at the ceiling, going over every word of the book, wondering what it was you didn’t like. After all, the whole point of reviews is to help the author as well as the reader. It doesn’t help me much if you don’t tell me what you found unrealistic.
So I start thinking. Now if you’re not familiar with Annie’s Revenge (this may spoil it a bit for you if you haven’t read it), it’s about a girl who is raped in high school by 3 classmates. She spends years of her life plotting and exacting her revenge on them, one by one. When she gets to the last guy, things happen and she develops feelings for him. That’s the part I’m thinking was referred to as ‘unrealistic’.
As much as I try to ignore this review, it keeps nagging at me. So while I attempt to continue living my life as if I’d never read this (remember, it’s not that they didn’t like the book, it’s that I don’t know what they found so unrealistic about it), I think to myself what a shitty review that is. Sure, it started out flattering, saying it was a great beginning. I like that part. But the unrealistic part just gets my goat. Grinds my gears. Melts my butter. Spits in my ice cream.
For the love of all that’s good, WHY?
And then I decide – screw ’em. If a mentally unbalanced, naive, emotionally fragile young woman developing feelings for one of her abusers is unrealistic, but a gigantic sewer-dwelling spider that manifests itself as a clown to lure young children into its lair isn’t, so be it. Duly noted.
And after I post this steam-blowing blog post, I’ll never think of this review again.